Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dear Grammar Nazi

Dear Grammar Nazi,

I am your biggest fan! I'm starting a fan club because you speak English so good. . . . or is it well? No wait, good, right? I think . . .

Dangit! Now I forgot my question.

You're 4ever Fan!

Johnny B. Good

Dear Mr. Good,

I'm honored. Truly I am. And that's a very good question you didn't ask.

That reminds me of a story I never told. About a good well that welled water well. So well, in fact, that the welled water tasted really good. Gooder . . . er . . . I mean better than water that wasn't from a good well. And well, that good well sold well when they put it up for auction because the welled water was so good. The owner made a good profit.

Is that as clear as mud? . . . Get it?!!! Mud?! Water?!! Cause the water in the ground would make mud?!!! Oh, I do crack me up.

Alas, for real help, I must defer to Grammar Girl again. She explains this concept well. And what with the explanations of linking verbs vs. action verbs . . . well, suffice it to say, you have it on good authority that it is okay to say "I'm good" when someone asks you how you're doing. You do not, however, have my permission to say "you speak good." Ever. And I mean that.

Most sincerely,
The Grammar Nazi

P.S. Upon reflection, I wish to modify my response. When a language is invented that is called "Good," then you may say "you speak Good." Until that time, please refrain.


Bethany Elizabeth said...

I never got ahold of the well/good debate until I took a Spanish class (which is more of a bien/bueno debate). Now, it bugs me if someone uses 'good' when they should use 'well', even though most grammar things don't bother me that much. :)

Stina said...

I'm having this battle with my kids on a daily basis now. All I can do is correct them and hope it eventually sticks.

Creepy Query Girl said...

Lol, a language called 'Good'.

Unknown said...

*cracking up here*

Like, seriously. You write real good. Now their's a great post!


(sorry couldn't resist)

Christina Lee said...

what a crack-up!

thepainterfamily said...


This reminds me, once a missionary over for dinner complimented Zach on his correct usage of well and good.

Zach was like ???? (he's 5)

It's true though, he uses them correctly, which is funny, because I've never said a word to him about it.

Joanne said...

Thanks for clearing that up? You did a good(?) job!

Jessica Bell said...

LOL. YOU crack ME up! ahahaha, you did good ;)

Lindsay said...

Haha. I thought you did well to be so good. :)

Laurel Garver said...

I love your humor-filled approach to what can be a yawn. Thanks for making grammar fun!

Carolina M. Valdez Schneider said...

Ha! Love it. I've been working with my four year old on this issue.

It's funny because I think sometimes English as a second language speakers have an easier time learning grammar rules of English--I think primarily because they don't have to "unlearn" lazy ways of speaking that they learned before they went to school. It's the only explanation for why I--who learned Spanish first--often scored so much higher on grammar tests than my English-as-a-first-language speaking peers. They learned me good ;)

Lydia Kang said...

I'm so much better at this good thing. I still say it, but I correct myself immediately!

R. Garrett Wilson said...

Had me laughing the whole time. Loved it. Not often I can claim to have found a swell good well story being shared between a Nazi and Mr. Good.

Anonymous said...

The paragraph about a good well that wells water well is so hilarious, so clever. :)

Vicki Rocho said...

hahaha...I was going to make a joke, but it looks like they've already been made. that's what you get when you're late to the party! I'm about 75% accurate with this particular grammar hurdle.

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What a creative post! Loved it!!

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