Sunday, January 31, 2010

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Growing up, I loved the book "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." Whenever we had the dreaded broccoli casserole, I would imagine it raining hamburgers or something yummy. (Either that, or pretend I was sick!)

Anyone who has read the book, knows the new movie that just came out has very little to do with it (other than, you know, food raining down). Usually I hate that, but in this case, I was prepared. Silly gags, fun with food, a little bit of love . . . we enjoyed it. That might have a lot to do with the fact that we watched it with our 6- and 3-year-old . . . nevertheless, fun for all.

So I asked my family what they would invent if they could. Here is what I got:

3-year-old: A Banana! One that I like! (He does not eat fresh fruit. Vegetables, yes. Fruit, no.)

When I pressed him on it, he changed his mind: A cookie! With chocolate on top, sprinkles on the bottom, chocolate on the sides, and chocolate in the middle. (Can you guess he likes chocolate?)

6-year-old: An underground base that would beam all my friends into it. (I can imagine that would be a pretty crowded place since he's our little social butterfly.)

My husband: An interface that would let me download information directly into my brain. (Do you think he might be a wee-bit stressed about his upcoming boards this summer? Maybe a little.)

As for me: I would invent the internet. I mean Al Gore did, why can't I?

Okay, seriously, I would invent an All-Purpose Item Detector. With this device, you could program in specific items (keys, wallet, lego pieces, blankies, binkies, etc.), and then when they are lost, you could select that pre-identified item, and the machine would do its stuff.

I honestly don't lose my keys very often (really), but the boys' toys? Talk about a life-saver.

"Mom, where's my green jedi?" "Mom, where's my Voltron guy . . . not the red one!" "Mom, where's the teeny, tiny lego piece missing from my ship?"

I mean, surely every item has some specific identifier that makes it unique, right? It can't be all that hard. Get with my program, inventor people! I'll even let you have my idea. :)

So what would you invent?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Who Needs Sleep?

So our darling angel-by-day transforms into a shrieking stinker by night. (Sounds a lot like Shrek to me.) With both London and Brandt, I could sleep through the cries, no problem. But Khyah's little wail just strikes me in the depth of my bosom and I jerk out of sleep like a Mexican jumping bean (and those things are real, in case anyone wondered).

I have been Little Miss Grumpy Pants all week, and soon, I feel certain my brain will enter shut-down mode to preserve what little battery I have left. And then where will I be?

So, in desperation, I am going to let her cry it out. Multiple sources tell me I need to let her cry it out. I need to put my foot down about midnight snacks. She can sleep 8 hours in a stretch and all this should only take 3 days.

We never did this with the boys because London would throw-up which I couldn't deal with (that and his daddy's a big softy), and Brandt was always a pretty good sleeper---he doesn't take naps . . . but at least he sleeps at night.

So, all you experts out there . . . what did you do to get your baby to sleep through the night? Any suggestions? Coping strategies? Name of the store you bought earplugs? Because I'm having visions of white coats and white walls while I shriek to anyone who'll listen: "SLEEP?! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' SLEEP! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" (You'll have to make the laugh sound as maniacal as you can in your own imagination.)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mishaps and a Leopard-print Pillow

Okay, you can ignore my crusty-looking foot. Just note the huge bulge on my ankle.

Yes, I managed to sprain it playing basketball. I haven't played in YEARS . . . like 12 of them . . . and I used to joke that I retired after 10th grade. Man, if only I hadn't fallen for the Michael Jordan syndrome and come out of retirement.

But alas, there we are. Stupid ankle. (Doh! That word again. London would be scolding me if he knew.)

Fortunately, I had wonderful people to take care of me. One of them even loaned me the leopard-print pillow (which, I might add, is very soft and perfect for propping up my foot).

So let's see, I have now sprained both ankles and most of my fingers at one time or another (we won't mention the time I slammed my own finger in the door when I was mad . . . teen years shouldn't count, right?), strained my right quadriceps, and broken my wrist, toe, and nose.

How about you? Please assure me that this is typical, and I'm not really a clutz. Look right for a poll.


Khyah had her official 6-month appointment on Thursday (never mind that she's 7 months in two days). She's definitely a Johnson. Here are the stats:

Height: 27.25" = 90th percentile

Weight: 17 lbs 13 oz = 80th percentile

Head Circumference: 17.5" = 93rd percentile

I think that puts her stats higher than both London and Brandt at the same age. The big head comes from Rick. Yeah, that sounds mean, but he admits it. He just has a big head. (Love you, hon!)

She was so perfect in every way (minus the sleeping through the night thing), the doctor didn't have much to say. What a sweet girl. She is one happy baby, and aren't we grateful!

This is Khyah learning to drive. And she was MAD when I took it away. We're in trouble!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions and a Little Silliness

I did a quick search to see if I could find my resolutions from last year. Nope, not recorded in the journal. So I guess that means I kept them all. BUT, here are some pretend ones so we can all feel good about that assessment:
  1. Start a blog. Check.
  2. Start the next draft of Prince Bob. Check.
  3. Have a baby. Check.
  4. Get back to pre-baby weight. Check.
  5. Be more patient. Che . . . well, this is kind of an "always" resolution, so we'll go ahead and say Check.
Of course, I COULD go on (wink, wink, nod, nod), but you get the point. I definitely accomplished things this past year. And may I just say, that resolutions are SO much easier when you write them down after the fact.

But not to let sleeping dogs lie, or whatever idiomatic expression would fit better there, I am going to actually record some resolutions for this coming year. And a year from now, I can reassess and see if I don't prefer last year's method of writing them down after I accomplished them.

Okay, here we go:
  1. Lose weight. Cliche I know, but alas, there we are. And yes, I know what you're thinking: that's a vague goal, but I have a plan. No, really. I just don't want to reveal all my secrets. Bwa, ha ha. (maybe I should add a resolution to work on my evil laugh.)
  2. Read with London every day. I can hear your gasp. "But all good mothers do that anyway without having to set a goal! And what about your other children?" Yes, yes, we do that, but I mean the "he-reads-to-me" kind of reading. He has my temperment (i.e. throw-a-fit-when-you-can't-do-it-perfect-the-first-time-behavior), but he'll get there. Dad, your curse is in full force. Oh, and sorry.
  3. Finish draft 2 and 3 of my book. How long did the first draft take you, you ask? Details, details. Never you concern yourself with that.
  4. Start a blog. Oh . . . wait! That one's already taken. But on the bright side, I'll just check it off now. Check.
  5. Visit at least 1 cool thing in the area per month. Totally attainable. The trick will be making it something different every month. But note, that's not actually part of the goal. :) Every good resolution list has to have at least one loophole. Right?

I think 5 is good for now. Though I have others, I'm choosing not to list them here . . . that whole mystique thing. :)

So are there any uber-unique resolutions out there? I'd love to hear them.

And in fact, maybe I will add a sixth, uber-unique one, just for kicks and giggles. Let's see, it would have to be something I wouldn't normally do . . . something legal, of course . . . something that might challenge me . . . and that may be just a little silly. I could sew something wearable that's NOT a costume. But that's not very silly. I could read a non-fiction book. Definitely something I wouldn't normally do, but there again, not very silly. Ah, wait, I have it:

6. I resolve to hold a contest with an actual prize on my blog. Pointless, you say? Maybe. But I wouldn't normally do it. It's legal (except in states where prohibited, of course). It will be a challenge, because I still have to come up with what the contest will be. And last but not least, it's a little silly. And funny, I'm actually excited by the prospect! Random contest, here we come!