Monday, December 3, 2012

A Day in the Life: Weekend Vacation

This past weekend, I took my family on a mini-vacation. Okay. I thought it would be a vacation, but that's not exactly how it turned out. Here's a summary of what took place:

8:00 AM

Pack, pack, pack.

Remember email I forgot to send.

Write email . . . Oh, look at the pretty Twitter . . .

11:00 AM

Drag myself away from the computer.

ME: "Shoes on everyone! Go to the bathroom! Move! Move! Move!"

CHILD: "But I don't have to go to the bathroom! I WON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

ME: "Just do it! . . ." Blah, blah, blah, channeling my parents, etc.

Buckle all kids in the car.

ME: "Wait! I forgot the camera, let me just run in and grab it." Oh, dishes in the sink . . . can't leave dirty dishes . . .

12:00 PM

Drive off.

12:10 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?

12:11 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?

12:11:30 PM

CHILD: How long have we been driving now?


1:00 PM

CHILD: "I have to go to the bathroom, and I can't wait!"

Grumble, grumble, lecture.

1:05 PM

Stop at gas station. Make sure EVERYONE goes to the bathroom.

1:30 PM

3rd CHILD: "I have to go poopy!"


4:30 PM

Pull in to Hotel parking lot.

HUSBAND: "This is where we're staying?

4:45 PM

CHILDREN: "I'm bored! Can we turn on the TV?"


Game of tag begins over bed, through bathroom, under my feet.

 Uncontrolled laughter.

High-pitched screeching.

4:50 PM

Turn on the television.

9:30 PM

Climb into bed.

10:00 PM


Climb out of bed, put 2nd child back in bed.

Get back in bed.

10:15 PM


Climb out of bed, put 2 children back in bed.

10:30 PM


2nd child gets back in bed on his own. On the wrong side.

Lays back . . . THUMP . . .

2nd CHILD: "Owww!"

Climb out of bed, put child back in bed.

11:00 PM

3rd child climbs into our bed.

11:30 PM

Wake up to an elbow in the head.

12:00 AM

 Wake up to find child sleeping on husband's head.

3:31 AM

Stare at clock and wonder why I can't sleep!

3:32 AM

Feel springs poking me and remember why.

3:33 AM

Decide there is no way we are staying the second night.

6:30 AM





2:00 PM

Decide to try local amusement park before getting an early start home.

Purchase tickets online. Non-refundable.

Pull onto road for the 2 minute drive and discover that everyone else in the whole town made the same decision.

"I'm bored!"

"I'm bored!"

"This is no fun!" 

4:30 PM

Arrive at amusement park.

Fight through crowds.

Ride rides.

7:00 PM

Christmas parade

8:00 PM 

Get in line for bus back to parking lot

9:00 PM

Arrive in parking lot.

Drive home

10:30 PM

Stop for gas. Potty break.

11:00 PM

Pull over to side of road for potty break.

11:30 PM

"Help! Dad, help! My stomach hurts!"

Pass back a plastic bag.

12:30 AM

Arrive home, send kids up to bed.

12:31 AM

Go inside.

ME: "What is that awful smell?"

12:32 AM

Head upstairs. Discover trail of puke up stairs toward my room.

1:00 AM

Finish cleaning puke. Vow to buy a carpet cleaner.

Vow to reconsider next vacation.

Tuck children into bed.

2nd CHILD: "Mom, this was the best day ever."

Vow to reconsider reconsidering next vacation.

So how was your weekend?


Anonymous said...

Ha! Got to love being a parent sometimes. Those weekends can be exhausting!

Connie Arnold said...

Wow, what an adventure! It reminds me how glad I am to be the grandmother of 3 little ones rather than their mother!

Melissa Sarno said...

Oh gosh, I'm laughing but I'm sorry. It sounds like you're going to need a vacation from that vacation.

Old Kitty said...

My weekened consisted of "Gumtree please stop chasing Charlie." "Gumtree please stop scratching at my hand and let me sleep". "Gumtree please be nice"! LOL!

Take care

Dianne K. Salerni said...

"Look at the pretty Twitter." Ha,ha,ha,ha! I know that feeling!

Who puked? And this happened before you left and no one mentioned it? Arrrgh.

Margo Berendsen said...

I can soooo relate! We wonder why we even try, but somehow it does end being worth it.

Loved the channeling the parents part.

Laurel Garver said...

Yes, yes, yes. So true, especially that the less than perfectly smooth trips are still pretty cool from a kid's perspective.

Susanna Leonard Hill said...

Oh, Janet! Not such a vacation, huh? You made me laugh, but I'm sorry it didn't turn out quite how you hoped! I hope everyone is feeling better now :)

Stina said...

You missed: Mom, he looking at me!!!!

To which I reply: A, stop looking at your sister.

Fortunately my kids are older. The only thing they do is ask how much longer until we get there, tell us they're bored, argue. :P

Paul Tobin said...

I love it, I have had similar weekends, great post, very funny.

Marcia said...

Isn't it exhausting to have fun? :)

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Oh my word, Janet! You are a super hero! How are you still alive?! LOL!

The Pickled Red Herring said...

Oh man I could've written this day myself! But the bottom line was... right there on the bottom line actually! "This was the best day ever!" That means your entire vacation was officially a success!