Monday, June 20, 2011

IH8SK8S - The Story Behind the Plate

Thank you to everyone who chimed in with their own backstory to the now infamous license plate "IH8SK8S." I enjoyed reading them. But here's the skinny:

Driver X is haunted by a past filled with tragedy related to skates. And I know most of you thought ice skates, but you're all wrong. They were roller skates.

Incident #1: Christmas, Driver X is 6.

All she wanted for Christmas was a pair of roller skates. She sent several letters to Santa detailing her desires, and even endured sitting on Santa's lap at the mall to be double sure he got the message. She left catalogs open on her parent's bed with the exact make, model and size circled in bright pink marker. She just knew she was going to get those skates.

She didn't. Worse, her older sister got a pair.

Incident #2: Two years later, what has come to be known as "The Incident."

The Elementary School Driver X attended sponsored a skating night at the local skating rink. Unfortunately, because Driver X didn't get that pair of skates for Christmas two years earlier, she was a lousy skater. Halfway around her first circle, she fell and broke her hand. Her right hand. The one she writes with.

Normally, this wouldn't matter, but the next day happened to be when Jeopardy! for Kids was administering a test at her school to qualify participants. Driver X not only missed the test, but her chance for fame.

Incident #3: Eight years later.

A rash of vandalisms had been perpetrated against her High School by a self-proclaimed "Skating Bandit." Desperate to find the culprit, the administrators performed a secret, systematic locker check.

Normally, this wouldn't matter, but guess who brought a certain pair of roller skates owned by her older sister to school that day as part of an assignment to give an oral report on an unhappy childhood memory?

Eight weeks of community service AND an incident report added to her permanent record. We won't mention the trips to the psychologist.

Final Incident: Ten years later.

Driver X had finally lived down her reputation as a dangerous criminal. She had met the man of her dreams and was on a walk with him in Central Park.

She detected a certain square-shaped bulge in his jacket pocket and just knew this was THE day. Right up until that stupid girl on roller skates crashed into her honey, landing smack on top of him.

He never proposed. Ten months later, she saw the announcement in the paper that he and stupid skater-girl were engaged.

Oh yeah. Driver X hates skates. With a passion.

Note: This story is fictional. Any similarities to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. ;)


Stina said...

This was the best version of why she got that license plate. Yep, that last part was the clincher no doubt. :D

Joanne said...

lol, cute story. I have a sneaking suspicion this driver is not done with her bad skating experiences, either. They'll haunt her always.

Beth said...

Love this story! Thanks for a great start to my Monday!

Anonymous said...

Whoa! That is a good example of elevated obstacles. And a tragedy!

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Haha, I laughed the whole way through this post. Poor Driver X!

Colene Murphy said...

Ha! Awesome story!! Makes me h8 sk8s too...

Lydia Kang said...

This gave me flashbacks of roller skating, though I didn't have nearly such bad luck!

Vicki Rocho said...

That's hysterical! (Though I do feel kinda bad for her...)

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

At first I thought Driver X was you! I was relieved it was only fictional. Thanks for clarifying that at the end. LOL!

I love to roller skate. My friends and I would do rollerskating performances for each other when I was a kid. It was awesome!

Thanks for the laugh! :)


Anonymous said...

I can see why she hates skates. I would, too! Great story.

Anonymous said...

LOL, great fictional story. I thought of roller skates when I read your last post, although I didn't mention that was what I was thinking. I was thinking of myself when I mentioned not being able to stay on the skates and always ending up on their behind. You see, that was how it was for me. I wanted roller skates when I was a kid, but never got them. As an adult, I bought myself a pair. Whenever I went skaitng, I spent more time on my butt than those darn skates. Finally gave up trying, lol.

Angela Ackerman said...

Haha, this was the BEST. Talk about a serious of unfortunate events!

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

Talli Roland said...

Love it! What a cute story - and yes, I can see why she doesn't like skates!

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

Very funny. I'm not going to think about roller skating the same way ever again.

Great post, Janet. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Cynthia Chapman Willis said...

This is a great story, but poor, poor Driver X. I bet she took some satisfaction from venting by way of her license plate, at least. Now I have the urge to roller skate. : )

Connie Arnold said...

Great story, Janet. Poor Driver X!

Missed Periods said...

I'd be so pissed if I missed out on an opportunity to compete in Jeopardy. I'll take weird license plates for $400.