By the time I found my agent, I was quite expert at drafting query letters. I knew the best places to track the query letters I sent to agents (querytracker.net in case anyone was wondering). I knew what writing conferences I liked best. I knew what to expect timing wise, and I was the one answering questions for those newbies who had just joined the fray.
Now that I'm on the next step of the publishing journey, I am horrified to discover that I have to start over as a newbie. Only this time, the learning curve is much, MUCH steeper since there is an actual deadline for things (oh the forgotten joy of not having a deadline!).
My head is spinning as I try to figure out marketing, and how to get my name out there and get on panels and accepted as a presenter at conferences. And let's not forget school visits, and swag, and websites. Writing tag lines. Writing author bios. Writing discussion questions. Figuring out author pictures and poses. And of course navigating the world of communicating with my publisher and editor and all the people involved there (who are fortunately very lovely people!).
The things is, I'd read so many blog posts from debut authors as they navigated the publishing world, and I'd learned so much about school visits and marketing, etc. And I had notes from conference presentations on such topics. I felt so prepared. I was SO ready for the next step! I just knew I would make it through with ease.
So I'm left scratching my head about what went wrong.
And the only thing I can come up with is that having a book published is a bit like becoming a parent for the first time. You can read all kinds of books to prepare yourself. People will tell you all kinds of truths and horror stories about "what it's really like." But it doesn't matter. The only thing that really helps you understand what it's like to be a parent is to actually BE A PARENT. And then suddenly you get it!
Not that it's suddenly easy or that you suddenly know everything. But you get it. You get how hard and complicated and unpredictable it all is. And all you can do is your best. You keep trying every day, and you learn new things. Sometimes it feels like you'll never be as good as those other parents you see at PTA meetings and stuff, and sometimes it feels like you're failing miserably.
But you aren't.
Because HEY! You're doing it! And none of that other stuff matters. What matters is that you're trying.
Because despite what Yoda says, there really is such a thing.
(And yes, this is absolutely what I tell myself when I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all . . . which is at least once a month . . . okay, weekly . . . fine! I meant daily. DAILY. Okay?? Satisfied?!) ;)